Good Times

I've forgotten how good friends can be.

Last night, I hung out with my 7 girls for the first time this summer. And even though I thoroughly enjoyed it, part of me was wondering what the hell happened to my summer--it's already mid-August! Have I really just been wasting my time away?

And I've been thinking about my behavior through this entire situation...it's weird but my actions align with what my body does naturally.

I have an auto-immune disorder--I don't have a particular disease, but I have an unusually low blood platelet count. The count is supposed to be between 150,000 and 500,000, and mine usually hovers between 50,000-80,000.

What happens is: my immune system is a CHAMP. I hardly ever get sick because I have such good defenses. The way the hematologist explained it to me is my immune system gets so bored with its job (since it's so good at protecting me) that it starts attacking my own platelets.

I think that's what I'm doing in my life.

I've grown up having to have my defenses on nearly my entire life. I've become so accustomed to doing so because it keeps me strong. But in doing so, I don't protect myself against myself.

If that makes sense. At all.

I think I'm talking crazy.